Brit Bitches

practising the art of bitchary Brit style

Postnatal Pervert! March 24, 2010

Those of you out there who have shot a baby out the natural way, will know, leave your dignity at the door.

Having  just spent 32 hours in pain and 2 hours of pushing and panting, finally my little bundle of  joy arrived.

A little scared to have a wee, I decided to take the bull by the horns, and drunk 2 jugs of water.

After a while the inevitable happened. So I’m sitting on the loo having a wee, completely naked ( was going to have a shower before I went down to the ward) when in walks the porter.

The normal response to this situation is to jump up and slam the door  (swollen crutch doesn’t allow for quick movement), but instead of leaving he just stands there.

So I say: “Er…Hello!”

He replies: ” ” I’ve come for your bags love”

So I say: ” Can you come back later”

What kind of fuck off perve was he? Seriously, to all you male porters out there, if you walk in on a giant postnatal woman sitting on the loo- then for fuck sake leave!


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