Brit Bitches

practising the art of bitchary Brit style

Little Miss Petty Bitch Meltdown April 3, 2010

Little Miss Petty Bitch Secret Weekend Hangout!

I have the misfortune of working with the pettiest bitch that I’ve ever met. If you touch her glue stick it’s a hanging offence. Borrow her stapler and she’ll cut your tit’s off.

Sure she looks middle aged, respectable and harmless, but trust me there is something very angry about this bitch and yesterday my thoughts were confirmed.

‘Little Miss Petty Bitch’ has a major meltdown in the staff car park. Some upstart has made the fatal mistake of parking in her space.

Don’t they know who she fucking is?

Now instead of getting out of her car, going to the office and getting this other arse hole to move Little Miss Petty Bitch hits the accelerator and wheel spins off…nearly hitting my car in the process!

Do I honk my horn? No.

Do I verbally abuse her? No (should of done…normally would have done) but it’s early and I’m late and I can’t be arsed.

But friggin Little Miss Petty Bitch starts hurling a barrage of “fucking this and fucking that” in my direction. I can see from the way her arms are flapping and the speed that her head is spinning around that she is in a bad, bad place. Passive aggressive does not even begin to sum her up.

Amused I sit back in my heated leather seat and watch the freak show unfold!

Little Miss Petty Bitch does not disappoint. …next it is the steering wheels turn, she digs her nails in, takes a hold then frantically rocks backwards and forwards. The usually respectable hair disappears as this crazy fucker starts moshing…she’s really rocking out!

Perhaps she’s listening to Def Leopard? I always had her down as a ‘Steps’ kind of girl. That will teach me to judge a book by it’s cover!

More swearing…Wow, she’s fucking worse than me! This is some serious closet nutter.

All of this comes the day after she saw fit to bore the crap out of me telling me how everything she does she approaches as a Christian, cos her faith is central to who she is.

Yeah…looks like it bitch!

Well just remember this…Jesus sees you bitch, he knows you, the real you, the one that boils little furry creatures alive and makes voodoo dolls!

FREAK!


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