Brit Bitches

practising the art of bitchary Brit style

Sawing madness. April 8, 2010

WTF was I thinking!

    What the fuck was I thinking.

Its Sunday night, and as normal I’m busy getting everything ready for school and work.

I’m still not quite sure how I managed it, but I somehow  shut my own finger in the dish washer- plum alert!

My wedding finger started to swell.

My husband started to rant  “you better get those rings off”.

So I take his advise and start oiling up my finger. Off  came my engagement ring.

But my wedding ring was stuck fast.

At this point, the swelling is starting to hurt.

This is when his bright idea strikes him, he can save my finger from certain doom, by sawing, yes sawing the ring off.

Why the fuck at that point, I didn’t tell him to stick his saw up his rectum, I do not know.

I know he was just trying to save my finger!

So, there we are in the kitchen, husband looking through tool box.

The procedure begins.

He sticks a screwdriver under my ring to protect my hand. I’m laughing, why the fuck am I laughing!

He reaches into his toolbox, and pulls out this fuck off massive saw.

Errr…..if you think I’m going to let you near me with that, your having a fucking laugh!

“It’s fine, I know what I’m doing”- what you’ve had dealings with sawing limbs in the past, have you.

Mental note: look further into husbands past!

The sawing begins, and again, I’m fucking laughing, what the fuck is wrong with me!

Worryingly, he saws my hand with precise accuracy.

10 minutes later a little bruised and battered, the ring came off.

Husband: ” look, I think we got it off just in time”.

Yes, my husband the hero!!

Ordeal over, no harm done.

Please do not a temp this at home.

In normal circumstances if your husband suggests he tries his power tools out on you, run, run away fast. No good can come from this!

 Thanks for saving my finger love!

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