Brit Bitches

practising the art of bitchary Brit style

Neighbour affair April 27, 2010

Get this.

I am awoken one night with the sounds of domestic doom coming from my next door neighbours house.

It seems all is not at one.

Having recovered from my shock awakening, I start to listen.

Whats more, I start to enjoy- its like a scene from Eastenders, but better.

After all , in the morning I get to look them in the eye and lord my superiority over them.

I now no the ins and outs of all their dirty history!

Anyway, the lording about didn’t last long, as she was gone by morning.

Kid, washing machine and fuck off wide screen tv in toe ( The tv, now that must have really griped him)!

The dust settled, well if you call 48 hours later moving your ex(of 48 hrs)partners best friend in, settled.

Now, call me shallow, call me whatever the fuck you want. None of this bothered me.

What gets right on my tits is, the new perky blond woman he has in there, walks round like she has a giant stick up her arse.

I say ‘hello’ to her, and she sticks her nose in the air and blanks me, yet a man offers her the hand of friendship and she all tits and arse friendly!

I couldn’t give a bollox about her affair ( wrong- you just don’t ride your best friends disco stick), but its brian stunned slappers like her, that give us Brit girls a bad name.

Shame on you- use your brain not your tits!


Another school insult.

Filed under: The Working Bitch. — bitchpedia @ 9:08 pm
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Another ASBO kid in the making.

Would you believe, at work today I actually got called a ” fat c**t ” .  

I wouldn’t mind, but I take acception to being called fat by a 9-year-old!

Rude little bastard.


ASBO mum

Filed under: Gene Pool Rejects,Playground pollitics — bitchpedia @ 8:58 pm
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The quality parentage in the school playground never fails to shock me.

I was standing  there the other day. All I could hear was Chav mum on her mobile phone, boasting about how she had got off  her assault charge in court.

 And how it was so out of order that her boyfriend ( and father of child number 5 ) had got community service and had been banned from her road.

 Respite for the neighbours!

Have a bit of pride love, keep your chav ways to yourself!


Not another veggie in the making!

Watch out, meat eating 6 year old about!

So I’m standing at the sink.

When  my lovely daughter pipes up….

Daughter: “Mummy it would be good to live on a farm, wouldn’t it”

Mother: ” Would it, why”  I’m thinking, really, all that shit and mud everywhere, my heels would never survive!

Daughter: “Because you would never run out of things to eat, you could collect the chickens eggs and make cakes and dinner”

Mother: “Thats right darling”. Wow, how very organic of her. Bless her, how innocent.

Daughter: ” Then you could shoot a lamb or kill a cow…..”


My angelic 6 year old is a disturbed freak!

Mother: ” We could yes……..or we could grow some crops ( and stop the mass murder of hundreds of live stock!), and make lots of soup”

Daughter: ” We could eat the pigs as well, I love bacon”  She said with a rather disturbing lick of the lips.

For fuck sake girl, enough of the animal slaughter.

Mental note: Keep the dog away from young cannibal daughter!


Bi-polar Lesbian. April 26, 2010

Freaky staring=one weird bitch.

Mondays come around all to quickly.
Knowone looks forward to them.
So what you don’t need is your jumped up bitch boss, launching abuse at you as soon as you walk through the door.

Give a bitch a title and she is going to rise to the occasion.

My boss seems to think that this gives her the right to rant and rave to everyone.
She spends most of her time with Miss Petty Bitch stuck at her arse.
I think she likes it.

These pair have a really dodgy relationship.
Lovers tifts are a regular occurance in their relationship!

Not only does my boss have freak rude outbursts, she also has this weirdo stare thing going on.
She just stares at you and then smiles weirdly.
WTF woman are you eyeing me up, cause my sence of style ain’t that eye capturing.

Why the funk can’t people just be normal.
Not insanely angry and rude one minute and then sickly arse suckingly nice, the next.

This bitch needs some booty action.
Clearly she ain’t getting enough of something!


The ranting educator.

Filed under: Gene Pool Rejects,The Working Bitch. — bitchpedia @ 8:16 pm
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Being a teacher is not all it’s cracked up to be.
For one thing we don’t start at 9 and finish at 4.
But that’s not the half of it, endless streams of twatish parents, who through gritted teeth, we are forced to take the abuse and answer in a polite manner.
Even Facebook offers no respite( teaching staff are banned from blogging on that too).

You think that any parent, even the twatish ones would be grateful if you took their child to A&E for emergency treatment, because they couldn’t be arsed to collect her and take her themselves, apparently not.
No they decided the way to thank me, was to scream abuse at me and shout comments like ” U comin out for a fag, no, you look to innocent for that”, ” why you bring her er, there ain’t nothing wrong with er. It’s the fucking school making a fuss.”
No fuckwitt, she was about to go in to a diabetic coma and die!
What the fuck is up with these people!


April 24, 2010

The happy (?) couple!

Breaking news!

Oh no, who would have thought it.

Katie and Alex Reids marriage is on the rocks, New magazine wouldn’t lie!
If this is, in fact true.
What does this say about the sacred union, which is marriage.
If Katie and Alex can’t go the distance, how are any of us couples suppose to get there.
This is damming news for all those newly weds out there.

In Alex’s defence it must be unnerving waking up next to someone who’s expression remains the same, no matter what the mood!

What a croak of crap.
Is this really a shock to any of us?
Pete must be doing a jig!